Advantages of a bigger pen!s are innumerable

I'm really getting tired of SPAM implying that I am inadequately stocked in the penile department.

And anyway, are the advantages of having a longer d0ng really innumerable? I mean c'mon. Let's give it a try:

1. Chicks dig it. 'Nuff said.
2. D!ck slapping. How awesome would it be to be able to give someone a mushroom print on their forehead while they're standing up?
3. Reach things on the top shelf. OK, I'm not sure where I was going with this one.
4. Pee-ing out the window of a car. Protip: pee-ing into soda bottles is for sissies.

And it's not all ponies and strippers for the well-endowed, is it? Let's consider the drawbacks:

1. Ever wonder where all that blood has to come from to fill out a big c0ck? I'd probably spend more time wondering about that myself if I wasn't always so dizzy.
2. Chicks fear you. Nobody wants to hear "That thing's not going in my mouth.".
3. Doing number 2 and toilet water. People instinctively try to avoid the hot dogs that fall into the grease trap under the rollers at the 7-11.
4. Lack of anal sex. See item 2.

So you see boys and girls, SPAM isn't always right. I believe that the advantages of a bigger pen!s are, in fact, numerable. I also believe that the disadvantages are numerable as well, perhaps even to the point where they cancel each other out. I guess the morale of this story is to be happy with what you have, and never EVER buy anything from a SPAM e-mail.