I'm going to stop short of saying that this movie was unwatchable, because it's just like those video games that have no real redeeming qualities except for the fact that it's fun to run around shooting people. The entire time you are playing them you have a sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach that you are completely wasting a Saturday afternoon, but you keep going anyway.
The story and dialogue were ridiculous, the action scenes watchable, and the look and feel almost enjoyable. Believable? Not even close, but it's based on a video game so I guess that's the point.
I totally want to shave my head completely bald now though, that's pretty bad ass. But only if I can do it like Timothy Oliphant's character in the movie - somehow he manages never to have to put a blade to his scalp but remains completely hairless for the duration of the film (which spans 3 months). He also never has to reload his pistols despite unloading them several times over in spectacular fashion, so he must live in a bubble of endless recharchability. Or something.
Too bad the writers and directors of Hitman didn't live in a bubble of endless creativity.
