36

So I turn 36 today. Whooptie-friggin'-doo. I never thought I'd live past 35, yet here I am. Turns out that a whole lot of people would probably have been better off if I had died in some sort of fiery car crash or been abducted by aliens and anal-probed and left for dead somewhere just outside the Andromeda star system when I was younger. Much younger.

Here's what I learned last night, on the eve of my birthday:

1. I am an asshole.
2. See #1.

So, to recap, I now have it on both good and bad authority that I am a piece of shit asshole. I don't disagree; in fact I couldn't agree more. But hey, it is what it is. I am who I am. And at least I'm genuine.

Happy birthday to me. As they say in Boston, go fuck yourself.