I've developed the weirdest insomnia this year. I can get to sleep fine, but then I wake up at 2, 3, 4, or 5 in the morning, and I'm wide awake. Tired as shit, but wide awake. Can't go back to sleep. And of course unless I want to be a zombie all day, I can't take sleeping pills that early in the morning.
I actually had thought I was past this - things have been pretty good the past few weeks, I've been feeling pretty happy and stuff seems to mostly be sorting itself out, but last night at 2 AM, BAM. Wide awake.
Something unexpected (but not entirely unwelcome) popped up this week that I'm not sure what to do with, and I'm pretty sure that has a lot to do with it. On top of that, I accepted a job offer yesterday. I'm actually quite excited about the job - it's going to be a lot of fun, it will look absolutely smashing on my resume, and pays pretty well, considering. But it means that I'll be putting off my relocation plans for at least another 6 months. Possibly longer - it's a right-to-hire contract, and if I'm really enjoying the work I may stay on if they ask me.
So the puzzle that I thought had been finished so many months ago is now lying in front of me, a gaping hole in the middle of it - staring back at me like a big square eye with a jagged, white pupil, waiting for me to pick the pieces from the pile in the box one by one and fill it all in. And here I am, with all of those pieces needing to be fit together, and I can't stop trying to make this one piece fit. I don't know what it is about it that commands so much of my attention, it's certainly a pretty piece, quite interesting and uniquely shaped; I just can't seem to put it down, even though there are so many other pieces there to work with.
And so I lie in my bed, watching the dark fade slowly to daylight; the brighter my room gets the less chance I have of falling back asleep, and I think about puzzle pieces.
