I wrote recently, somewhat matter-of-factly perhaps, about dying in a fiery motorcycle crash. I want to be clear: I love life, and intend to live for at least another 15 years (I can't picture myself being older than 50, but then again 15 years ago I used to say that I was going to die at 35, and here I am about to turn 36). I do not have a death wish, and do not ride my motorcycle the way I do because I WANT to die. I ride it that way because I want to LIVE.
I have, at 35, lived a full and action-packed life. I have travelled America and Europe, been to most of the locales I've wanted to visit, and done most of the things I've wanted to do. I have found true love, not once but twice. I have tripped the light fantastic, sipped mushroom tea, and swum in the depths of a barrel of rum. I have stopped and smelled the roses, planted a tree, and owned my own house. I have rung in the new year in Las Vegas with the greatest cover band of all time, caught beads at Mardi Gras in New Orleans with the two most special people in the world, and been flown out to Seattle to be honored for my talents. I have stood on stage in front of thousands at the peak of my game and performed. I have been a best friend, a lover, a father, a brother, and a son. I have done my best at all of those things, and could not have done better. I am who I am.
I have no regrets that I have any control over; I have lived my life following the philosophy that we each make our own fate. I am not one to simply float on the breeze waiting to see what happens next or who comes along, I have gone out and made my own destiny.
I still have a list of things that I want to do before I die, and I believe that everyone should always have something on that list - otherwise we have nothing to look forward to except more of the same. Nothing on that list, however, is anything I would be upset about not accomplishing, because I've lived my life to the fullest as I went along. I didn't save the best for last, I experienced the best as soon as I could. Everything left is pure fluff.
If you told me that I would die tomorrow I would not be sad. I would not beg and grovel for more time on Earth. I would not pine for the things I never got a chance to do. Instead, I would call a handful of special people and say goodbye. I would tell them how much I love them, and thank them for what they gave me. I would tell them that I wish we had more time together, but that I don't regret the time we did have. Any of it.
